A bit of a breakthrough moment

I think one thing that someone who is childless will feel at some stage is looking at people around them and seeing people who have what they want. It seems like it’s come so easily for them, like they just had sex one day, then woke up and “oh whoops, I’m pregnant”. Nine months later they sneeze and out shoots their perfect little bundle without busting a sweat.

For me, I think that what I want is to have something that I don’t have to give back. But more accurately, I want something or someone that prefers me. I want to be someone’s favourite (and not just be my husband’s favourite).

My husband has our puppy, Penny. She goes to work with him every day and looks at him with the most ridiculous amount of love. Sure, she loves me, but she loves him! I have a cat, but as most people know, cats can sometimes just be … cats. Other people have their children, but what do I have? It feels like I have nothing, and when I do have what I want so much, it just gets taken away from me.

It doesn’t feel fair. I just want to be as happy as other people are.


Author: thegriefdiariesblog

A borderline hyperactive Personal Trainer, navigating the process of starting a family.

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