Flashback: 13th November 2015

Today we got confirmation on what I had been suspecting for about a week now. I’m pregnant again. We’re both super happy 🙂 All going to plan I’ll be due on the 19th of July 2016.

25th November 2015

Yesterday was 6 weeks. My oh my I can not wait until next week! Bring on my scan so I can see my little baby’s beating heart.
My symptoms are steady but still very minimal which does make me nervous some times. As much as I am appreciating virtually no nausea it would be nice to have some more just to know all is still ok. But who knows, it may be on it’s way or maybe this is just a minimal nausea pregnancy.
I’m really scared about the possibilities, but there is literally nothing I can do except look after myself and pray everything is ok and works out.


6th December 2015

My ultrasound was last Tuesday. I measured 3 days behind, 6 weeks 3 days instead of 6 weeks 6 days.
The gestational sac was a good size, but unfortunately no fetus, yolk sac, fetal pole, anything was seen. The sonographer did an external and internal scan to be sure she wasn’t missing anything but still nothing.
Needless to say for the past week I have been feeling very up and down. My symptoms are present, as much as I can tell, but there is a big mental struggle going on. It’s very hard on Karl too. It’s hard to continue as if we are still pregnant when it seemed so obvious on the scans that we couldn’t see anything.
I’ll be doing blood tests to check my HCG levels. And I’ll also have another scan in a fortnight to confirm viability.
I haven’t had any blatantly obvious signs of miscarriage, which is frustrating and just adds to the struggle.
My mum is being strong in her pessimism, which does not help. She said she wasn’t going to get excited until 30 weeks. Like obviously she’s happy about me being pregnant but, gee thanks Mum. I know she means well but it’s just not what I need.
Today I’m feeling mentally low. I had a dream we had a solid little baby girl. I’m just hoping this all works out, regardless of gender.


Author: thegriefdiariesblog

A borderline hyperactive Personal Trainer, navigating the process of starting a family.

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