So, if the title doesn’t give it away, today is a good day. Not just because it’s Friday and it’s my short working day either!
Even though this grief process is a struggle, there are still so many good days. It feels like the storm in my mind has died down, and there’s been a break in the clouds, and the wind has reduced to a pleasant cool breeze. It’s important to recognise these days, enjoy them. Maybe even celebrate them. Sometimes they feel rare, and sometimes there are a few good days in a row.
It’s nice to be able to function like a “normal” human. Not that we grievers are abnormal, but on those bad days I’m sure you understand how it feels to be disconnected, frustrated and stuck. It seems like other people don’t have that problem. In reality they’re probably just wearing masks like the rest of us! As I always say: “define normal”. Currently, grief is my normal, and it normal to grieve.
But back to my point – it’s nice to feel happy and upbeat. Yes, the thoughts of my babies are always there, yes I’m thinking about the procedure next week, but some how it’s not consuming me as it frequently does. I seem to be able to shake the feelings, like water off a duck’s back, instead of having to air myself out for days on end like a Kormorant.
So today, now that I’ve fed my belly, I’m going to attempt some Pilates with a friend, stock up for Valentines day breakfast and go home to get ready for the weekend. It’s a bit of a boring.day but it’s good. I’m happy 🙂
One breath at a time.