Tuesday was a day of mixed emotions. I was quite nervous about what the specialist would say at my follow up appointment, post-hysteroscopy. But I didn’t really have any need to be nervous, I couldn’t think of any reason why the outcome would be bad.
I turned up to the appointment, and nervously entered the doctor’s office when it was my turn. I was by myself this time, and I was hoping like mad that everything would be ok since Karl wasn’t there for added support.
The specialist started by showing me the pictures from the surgery. Pretty fascinating stuff, it felt like I was looking at an alien landscape (but pink). He showed me the retained product, told me that it was attached to the front wall of my uterus and that they got it all out. YAY!!!! I was very happy about that. He said the rest of the uterus looked good and healthy.
He did say that he found a couple of spots near my cervix that could have been endometriosis. The biopsy showed that it wasn’t (double yay), it wasn’t serious enough to prevent me from falling pregnant previously, and he wasn’t concerned about it. He said it could even be just something unique to me, maybe even from when I was developing in my mother’s womb.
The next stage? Wait one cycle, then move on with life. Try again when we feel ready and send him notification when we get another positive (I might just wait until we have a successful 12 week gestation!). I was happy to know that he was considerate of the distance I have to travel to see him, and that he was confident in the care of my usual GP with future pregnancies. That’s the kind of specialist I am happy to use – not in it for the work / money / possible treatment from IVF kickbacks. Gold star for him 🙂
I’m still feeling emotional at times, and going from past experience I know it’s not going to go away any time soon. My triggers are everywhere, and each day has the potential to go well or go pear-shaped. One moment at a time is the plan of action, and being kind enough to myself to let myself have bad days, despite how awesome I was feeling previously. Today is good, and with tomorrow there are endless possibilities.
So what am I going to do with myself for the next month? I’m going to enjoy myself (or at least try). I’m going to spend some time with my husband, and I’m going to give my cat cuddles as much as possible (the pup gets jealous and sometimes squeezes the cat away from affection! Such a rascal…). I’m going to jump on a trampoline, I’m going to hang upside down from the bars at work, I’m going to eat ice cream, I’m going to do gymnastics where possible, I’m going to go rock climbing, and – last but not least – I’m going to go for a swim!
Here’s to moving forward, moment by moment.