Do you ever find yourself thinking about everything that has happened, thinking about when everything was good and going well? I do, every single day. Every spare moment.
It’s interesting how I’ll be remembering things, and then it’s like I feel myself trying to do something momentarily. Before I know it the moment has passed and I realise with renewed grief what I was trying to do.
Why can’t I just go back to a place when all of this heart break never existed?
I’m trying to go back in time without even realising, even though I know I can’t. This happens so often. Is this the level of grief I’m at? Desperation fueled time travel attempts? It all seems a little bit much sometimes.