Holding on

How do you figure out how to let something go, when you’ve never really had it?

I’ve “had” my babies in the truest form. They were / are 100% mine (and Karl’s 😊). BUT – we never got more than positive pregnancy tests, symptoms, and ultrasound scans. We never had them in the traditional “right there in front of me” sense.

I know that I will never forget them and I don’t think anyone will want to forget their unborn child. But it’s weird to imagine myself having the peace and freedom of mind to go through a day where I wouldn’t think about my losses, to not be grieving so heavily that they consume my thoughts. I know this is possible because I’m now like this with my Dad (he died in 2012), but losing 2 babies is very different.

So that is the question of the day. How to hold on to what memories we have, but at the same time letting go and having mental room to move again. Something to pray about.


Author: thegriefdiariesblog

A borderline hyperactive Personal Trainer, navigating the process of starting a family.

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