The latest

Wowzer! It’s been about 6 weeks since I last posted! It’s been an interesting 6 weeks.

Health: I’ve been sick in some varying degree 4 times in the last 2 months. I’m over it to say the least! I’m pretty sure my regular purchasing has secured jobs for a number of people in the tissue industry.

Visitors: my cousin-in-law come over at the start of August, then a day after he left my Mum came over for about a week. It was great to see them but I did get super tired and I now appreciate my space, routine and way of doing things so much more.

TTC: no real news. Looks like I ovulated this month, unlike last month, but I doubt things will work out this month since I was sick during my fertile window and did not feel up to it! But that’s ok because…

Gymnastics: I am still just so freaking happy to be back doing what I love and feeling like myself again. I’ve successfully torn skin off my hands (not major or blood raging rips like you see on instagram – thankfully!!), but hey that happens when you’re doing a significant amount of bar practice on soft hands. The callouses are coming back nicely and life with rips is slightly annoying but definitely liveable. My new and improved skills are so worth it.

So this is me doing the main chunk of my level 4 bars routine. These skills are relatively basic, but doing them as a child and adult are two very different things. You have to get used to the momentum of swinging around the bars, you have to focus on the bar ASAP before you change and go for it because if you think about that slight hint of dizziness while standing on the low bar you’ll never do it. Falling isn’t such an issue once you’re standing on the low bar because as an adult you’re tall enough to just jump and grab the bar if you feel like you’re going to fall. But still, you’re stuck in the mindset of the considerably shorter 8 year old version of yourself and the prospect of falling is still terrifying. A lot of self talk goes on – trust me! All I need to do now is just make the bar change smoother (it’s already improved heaps in 3 weeks), and in a fortnight I’ll start working on the final skill sequence. I say in a fortnight because if I’m pregnant this month I will not be training bars, especially those last few skills yet to be worked on. Impacts against the bars on my lower hips isn’t something I want my baby to experience, when said baby happens. I don’t care what position my uterus is at at weeks 5, 6 or 7, I don’t think it’s a good thing to do.

Grieving: naturally, it’s still happening. I’m super thankful that I have such a good distraction in gymnastics, but I’m very aware of not ignoring my feelings or pushing them away and not dealing with them. I haven’t had a psychology session in a good 4 months now, I would like one but since I only have a few left on my referral I want to save them up for when I really feel like I need them. Journalling and talking with my husband and friends can get me by for now. Things are still hard at times, like when my old work colleague announces her fourth pregnancy (seriously can I just have ONE?!), but in the grand scheme of things, life is ok.

I think that’s all for now! Hope you’re all well, I’m enjoying all your updates!